Word on the Street

Mullion (mul’-yuhn) noun. A grotesquely fat and/or hideously ugly woman with whom a basketball player will have “relations” when no better options are available.

Usage example:If it’s late and you’re horny enough, you might just end up with a mullion.

Word history: According to Merriam-Webster, a mullion is:

“A slender vertical member that forms a division between units of a window, door, or screen or is used decoratively.”

But Wilt Chamberlain used a much different definition for the word. In his 1974 autobiography, Wilt: Just Like Any Other 70-Foot Black Millionaire Who Lives Next Door, the Big Dipper described his time time travelling the world with the Globetrotters (whom he usually refers to as the “Globies“), and most of those exploits have nothing whatsoever to do with basketball. If you can believe even half of what Wilt had to say, then I would guess that approximately 80 percent of the world’s current population consists of illegitimate Globtrotter children.

Since the Globetrotters were the most famous basketball players in the world (this was well before the NBA had gained widespread credibility), they could usually bag their fair share of hot babes. They would even go into the crowd during games just to get a phone number (or, if they were lucky, a room key). But even the best pickup artists in the world don’t succeed 100 percent of the time, and so – in order to serve the libido – it was sometimes necessary for them to fall on a grenade (or two, or three, or…). You just couldn’t let your teammates find out. Ever.

According to Wilt:

“The worst sin a Globie could be guilty of was to be seen with a ‘mullion.’ If a guy got horny and couldn’t find anything but a ‘mullion,’ he might cop her, but if he spotted another Globie, he’d just take off and leave her standing there. If you said you’d seen him with a ‘mullion,’ he’d have 101 excuses – ‘That wasn’t me‘ or ‘She was begging me for it and I couldn’t get away‘ or ‘you should’ve seen this fine fox I copped before you got there; this one was her friend, and I was just being nice.'”


It’s late. And you’re horny. And, hopefully very, very drunk.


Labels: Wilt Chamberlain (The Big Dipper) / NBAWord on the Street


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: