Word on the Street

Untradeable (un-trad’-a-buhl) adjective. A word used to describe a basketball player who cannot be traded, usually because the cost and length of his contract are far greater than his actual value on the court.

Usage example:Since Chris Webber was untradeable, the 76ers had no choice but to buy out his contract.

Word miscellany: You know, 11 PPG, 8 RPG, and 3 APG aren’t bad numbers…for your 6th man. But if you’re paying this person $21 million for the current season and you still owe him $22 million for the next season, you may feel as if something large and uncomfortable has been shoved – without the benefit of any lubrication – into your rectum. Particularly when the guy is 33 years old (going on 80), chokes under pressure, hasn’t played defense since puberty, has 0.7 knees left, has missed 11 of your last 14 games with I-don’t-want-to-play-itis, and is the kind of douchebag who can’t even show up on time for fan appreciation night. Did I mention he’s only shooting 38 percent from the field? At this point, he’s not even a shell of the shell of his former self.

And it’s even more incriminating that an infamous ballhog like Webber wouldn’t play even after 40+ shots per game became available via the Allen Iverson trade. Now he can every American’s dream: being paid millions to do nothing. There’s no doubt his agent is scrambling around to get him signed up with a “contender” (although I guarantee none of the two or three teams with a legitimate shot at the title will actually want him). I’m sure Webber will say that it’s all about winning. That’s only partly true. It’s all about getting his shots, getting paid by two different teams, and getting a sort-of-maybe chance to win. Screw you, Chris.

Hey Chris …that’s the sound of no one wanting your sorry ass.

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Labels: Chris Webber / Allen Iverson / Word on the Street

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