Word on the Street

Fan Whore (fan hor) noun. A fan who either roots for multiple teams or who foresakes certain obligatory loyalties – such as to the hometown team – to support another team of his or her own choosing.

Usage example: “LeBron James was seen last night rooting for the New York Yankees to beat his hometown Indians. What a fan whore.”

Word trivia: A couple weeks ago, somebody asked me which NBA team I followed. I replied that my favorite teams were the Mavericks, Celtics, and Spurs. His reaction was priceless; it was like I’d just admitted to eating a live kitten. He wigged out and said, “What a fan whore! You only get to have one favorite team. Choose one and stick with it.”

I got the same kind of reaction a few months ago when a guy on the train platform asked me if I watch baseball, and if I rooted for the White Sox. (I was wearing a White Sox hat by the time.) “Well, I’ve been to Chicago,” I said, “so I root for both teams: Sox and Cubs.” The dude literally jumped up and down like he was stomping huge, poisonous spider. “Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?! You can’t root for the Cubs and the Sox! That’s like, it’s like rooting for God and Satan. You don’t getta be good and evil, kid. You gotta pick one or the other.”

LeBron James got a dose of the same medicine last night, when he was seen rooting for the New York Yankees, and thus against the hometown Cleveland Indians. LeBron was even wearing a Yankees hat, and fans started jeering him and chanting “Take of the cap!” One fan even screamed “Go to New York, then” (another fan heard that and said “No, no, please don’t”). Today, there are countless stories in the media and across the blogosphere calling James things like “traitor” and “betrayer.” The thing is, LeBron’s allegience has never been in question; he’s a lifelong Yankees fan. So the anti-LeBron uproar is a pretty blatant overreaction. Especially since LeBron isn’t really a fan whore, he’s more of a bandwagon fan; he’s always been a “frontrunner” and therefore footed for the Chicago Bulls, Dallas Cowboys, and Yankees during his teen years.

Frankly, I don’t understand the mentality that you can’t root for whomever you want. Especially since, logistically speaking, it increases your chances for potential happiness. By rooting for six NBA teams instead of just one, I increase my chances of seeing one of my teams go all the way by 15 percent! (I think; I’m not a mathmologist.) And what if I’d only pulled for the White Sox this year? By rooting for the Cubs and Sox, my baseball-induced misery will ultimately have been postponed almost an entire week. That, my friends, is the sweet smell of success.


As punishment for fan whoredom, LeBron was forced to sit by supernerd Poindexter T. Finkman.


Labels: LeBron James / Dallas Mavericks / Chicago Bulls / Boston Celtics / San Antonio Spurs / NBA / Word on the Street


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