Word on the Street

Duncan Face (dunk’-uhn fas) noun. A look of incredulous, googly-eyed mock surprise that is directed at a referee by a player any (and every) time a call does not go that player’s way. Note that the Duncan face can be enhanced by raising the hands in an “I didn’t do it!” gesture and should be followed up with a steely-eyed glare.

Usage example:On to my frustration: The Lakers are huge babies. This applies to Jackson, Bryant, and seemingly every other player on the court. Kobe has his Duncan Face everytime he doesn’t get a call.”

Word history: It’s impossible to pinpoint exactly when this term was invented, but it’s been popular for at least the last three or four seasons, during which time the Duncan face has become a parody of itself. I mean, how can the officials possibly take Duncan – or any player who utilizes the Duncan face – seriously anymore? If I was an NBA referee, I would make one call or non-call against a player for each time he used the Duncan face. (This could quite possibly be the reason I am not currently employed as a referee.)

Great Duncan faces throughout history: In addition to the standard or “classic” Duncan face, there are several other Duncan faces that can be used when the situation warrants it:

1. The “Dear God, it hurts!” face. Because that foul could have killed me, man!

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2. The “Holy crap ref, you cannot be serious!” face. Because, damn it, you totally would have made the right call if you’d seen what I saw.

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3. The “I saw that shit was wrong from the bench!” face. Because I saw that shit all the way from over here.

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4. The “I’m gonna make a sarcastic face!” face. Because you, Mr. Referee, are an idiot.

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5. The “But I’m Tim Duncan’s teammate!” face. Because I really am Tim Duncan’s teammate! (Starring Manu Ginobili as himself.)

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6. The “Get yer filthy hands off me!” face. Because seriously, ET TU, MANU?!

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7. The “Why is my life so damned hard?” sad face. Because you all know I didn’t do it, so why do you have to make me cry?

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8. The “Fuck you I win titles” goofy grin face. Because it feels sooooo good to win.

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And I’m gonna leave you with the face that started this whole column today, the classic Duncan face. And remember, The Duncan face ain’t design to diss Timmy in any way, shape or form. I mean, come on, the guy has 4 rings!!?? Who are we to argue with anything that man does.

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Labels: Tim Duncan (Timmy) / Kobe Bryant / Manu Ginobili / Phil Jackson / Los Angeles Lakers / NBA / Word on the Street

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