Word on the Street

Drafterglow (draf’-tuhr-glo’) noun. In fantasy sports, the fleeting (and usually false) rush of euphoria a team owner experiences immediately after completing what he/she assumes was an overwhelmingly successful draft.

Usage example:In 2005, I had a serious case of drafterglow after nabbing Amare Stoudemire in the first round. Yeah, that worked out really well.”

Word trivia: Here’s a rule of thumb regarding fantasy sports: Almost every team looks like a potential juggernaut before the season actually starts. Every year, I get caught in the warm, fluffy grip of drafterglow while reviewing the Dream Team I just selected. But that fuzzy feeling more often than not turns to sheer terror (and, eventually, berzerker rage) due to unexpected injuries and unforseen decline. Who knew that Amare would blow the hell out his knee, or that Shaun Alexander would crumple into a pathetic heap the season after he was named the NFL‘s MVP? Or that Jason Kidd would age exponentially, or that Marc Bulger would have his head torn off last year, or that…

That’s when drafterglow becomes post-draft regret. And once you’ve been vicitimized by this phenomenon often enough, one of two things happen: You become a fantasy cynic or develop fantasy paranoia. A fantasy cynic is someone who always (and loudly) expects the worst until they finally win the league championship, and even then they might still be wary that something will go wrong. (“I bet there’ll be some sort of point adjustment that’ll rob me of the title.”) Fantasy paranoia is a condition in which the owner becomes increasingly suspicious and deluded, and it’s characterized by bizarre, lopsided trade requests (“I’ll give you Mo Williams for Kobe Bryant.”) and constant (but laughable) waiver wire pickups (“I’m telling you, with KG out Brian Scalabrine is going to put up big numbers!”). The owner suffering fantasy paranoia will also have a compulsive, even neurotic, need to repeatedly check on his team and adjust lineups during the day. Note that there is no known cure for this condition.

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Labels: Amare Stoudemire / Jason Kidd / Mo Williams / Kobe Bryant / Kevin Garnett (KG) / Brian Scalabrine / Word on the Street

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